Elimination Chamber
Hey boys and girls! This is gonna be a live blog for the Pay Per View tonight. If you're a pro wrestling fan then this is where you wanna be, if you are not best to move along this is not the blog you are looking for...
So HERE WE GO
first (and only) pre-pay-per-view match Zach Ryder vs Stardust
I am a big Stardust guy. Love the way he works in ring. Sells his ass off, usually to a comic extent. Ryder is much the same way, but doesn't get nearly the number of bumps Stardust does. This was the match you would think these two would have - background action for Cole, JBL, and Lawler to set the stage for the main show. STARDUST wins after hitting Crossrhodes, newly named Queen's Crossbow.
MizTV Miz interviews Daniel Bryan. Miz gets me. Love his Johnny Cage schtick. WTF is he wearing?! I love it. Daniel Bryan comes out and says all the right words about his career not being over, but it's hard to believe him. Either way, wish him the best. Of course Macho Mizdow comes out with Axelmania, the absolute worst bit going right now, and beat up Miz. So stupid. But I do love hearing Hogan's entrance any chance I can.
Tag Team Title match right out the gate, which makes me think this is going to be a lonnnnnnnnng match. 13 men. This is gonna get crowded. Or not. The pods are bigger than I thought they would be. Ascention and Lucha Dragons to start the match in the ring, not a great sign for our high-flying faves. NewDaySucks get a quick start at being dirty without even being in the match. And mock the Lucha Dragons. Pretty funny. Cesaro/Kidd first team out of their pods. Immediately start dominating, of course. Cesaro jumped onto the top rope then super plexes Calisto,in a feat of athletecism, guy is a beast. Los Matadores now enter. The midget bull flies off the top of the pod, pretty great. Calisto finds himself on top of the chamber somehow in a poorly thought out move. LOL. Los Matadores quickly get tossed by the Ascension. Now I notice that all the black guys are still in their "Cells." WTF WWE?? Ascension now eliminates the Lucha Dragons. Apparently, they're good again? The penultimate pod release is the Prime Time Players, (obviously, the New Day and the Authority are new butt buds). PTP quickly disperse the worn out Ascension. Cesaro nearly decapitates Darren Young, amazing kick. Then gets power bombed while delivering a suplex. Madness all over. And here comes New Day. Then suddenly it is suplex city. PTP and Cesaro/Kidd triple suplex TND, then lock Xavier Woods into the pod again. They are rolled up by Titus and eliminated. New Day, back at full strength, and well-rested only have the PTP to beat. Darren Young oles Big E's spear and the mammoth flies into the plexiglass pod giving the PTP hope. Titus O'Neal begins ragdolling people, guy is masssssive, but Kofi kicks out and we feel like they have lost their chance. The New Day all pile on Titus and retain their titles. Good match. Entertaining, but felt like some of the moves didn't play the way they should. PTP looked rusty, but had moments. Cesaro shines, predictably. Not sure how long they keep him on a tag team. Not a horrible gimmick match.
Paige vs. Naomi vs. Mrs. Perfection, my love and future ex-wife, Nikki Bella (grrrrrrrrr!) Triple Threat Match, never a good sign for the champ, but I'm hoping Nikki can retain the belt, but I think the brass wants a new champ.... Early Paige domintion, she's been gone, trying to get her over with the fans again. Yellow looks great on Mrs. Cena. Paige misses a cue, badly, making Fearless Nikki look bad. Smdh. Nikki lands a double power bomb (awesome), but Naomi AND Paige kick out. Match heat has turned up and is looking good. Paige gets mauled by Naomi, Nikki, ever the opportunist, lands The rack Attack (most aptly named move ever) and retains!!!
Kevin Owens vs. John Cena NEXT!!!
Cute new merch on KO to start the match. Cena still brings it on every entrance. "John Cena Sucks" as lyrics to his own song kills me every time. Legit funny from the WWE Universe fans. Well, here we go, You Want Some? Come Get Some! Big shoulder from Cena, "Welcome to the WWE, Kevin Owens," from Cole, good shit. "Let's go Cena/Cena sucks" chant starts. I love Cena, but I always chant the "sucks" part... I have problems. Seems more of an Anti-Owens crowd than Pro-Cena. Cena kicks out of a well-sold DDT after an unsuccesful AA. Owens begins to play to the crowd, feeling it. Here comes 1,000 kick outs from Cena. Seems like he sells for a solid five mins no matter who he wrestles. That's what happens when you're good at something. Momentum shift, five-knuckle shuffle, then Owens hits a pop-up power bomb, and Cena (shocker) kicks at 2. Owens starts to climb the top rope, bad idea, countered by Cena buying himself some time. Cena lands the AA after Owens misses a moonsalt off the top rope. Owens gets cocky, here comes the downfall, goes for the five-knuckle shuffle, lands himself into a submission, but counters it into his own Attitude Adjustment! Cena lands a tornado DDT, a leg drop off the top rope and kicks out of both. Cena lands a stunner off the middle rope, (springboard stunner sucha good move), but Owens kicks. KO then counters Cena's attempted suplex from the top, then hits another top rope dive, (swanton?!), but Cena won't stay down. Running clothesline nearly takes Owen's head off, but Owens land a final pop-up-powerbomb and finally gets pinned. WOW. Never thought Cena would lose. Sick to my stomach. SMDH. Rewarding the arrogance of a villain! I am such a heel so this shouldn't bother me, but that's what happens when you buy into the stories kids! Great match. Then Owens adds insult to injury after the match and uses Cena's own words against him - "Your time is up, my time is now. THE CHAMP IS HERE." wow.
NXT alllll over the place. The long-awaited rematch between Bo Dallas and Neville. Gotta like Neville to get over in this one then get screwed by some Tom-Foolery from Bo, right? Oh yeah, we are still selling the "hurt knee" of Neville. Air still hasn't left the stadium from Cena/Owens and I would usually say that is a good thing, keep the momentum going, but thus far it hasn't helped this match because everyone is still digesting the huge upset and is barely paying attention to these guys. NOt fair to them, really. Bo keeping Neville at a distance, but I am still uniterested in this match, and I'm a Neville guy... :/ Looks like Bo is wearing a dirty diaper, all white errrrrrythang ain't your look BrO. NOt surprisingly, Neville finds his way to the top rope, lands the Red Arrow, and pins Bo. Thank goodness that match is over.
INTERLUDE HHH tells Roman Reigns that he cannot interfere with the championship match or Ambrose is DQ'd
Time to find out who will replace Rusev in the IC title match to be held within the Elimination Chamber. The World's Strongest Man is as Intercontinental as it gets, and Marc Henry rumbles to the ring. *A little aside - did Rusev getting hurt impact the Cena/Owens fight? Cena being the US Champ, and assuming Rusev was meant to win the IC belt at Elimination Chamber, sets up an interesting rivalry again bewteen Rusev and Cena. I suppose that story has already been told, but worth some thought - end aside* OK. Here's the official lineup Ryback vs. Marc Henry vs. Sheamus vs. King Barrett vs. R. Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler who has to be the fan favorite. He's "banging" a Russian, so he is Mr. INtercontinental already. Barrett is already King. Sheamus has been here before, so that story has been told. R. Truth blows. Ryback wants it bad enough, but has he gotten over enough for a belt and baby push? Interesting match. Here we go. Ziggler/Barrett to start, Dolph selling right off the bat. He's the little guy who can outlast/out-tough anyone, and he's the smallest by A LOT in this match. First one out of the pod is R. Truth, King Barrett meets him IN the pod and pummels him, one of the only times I've rooted for Barrett. The King maintains control of the ring, at one point throwing Ziggler into Marc Henry's pod breaking it! Marc comes out and trashes Barrett, and only seconds later Ryback is released! The two big men go at it with Ryback getting the better of it. Still no pin-falls. WSM is basically standing around like a spectator who wandered into the ring, hilarious. Barrett gets hit with like three different finishers and is eliminated by R. Truth. Sheamus paces, the last man left in the pod (they wouldn't let him win the same way New Day won, right?!) His time comes and, low and behold, his door won't open. He loses his shit. The remaining ring players team up on the WSM, then Ryback turns on R. Truth and pins him. He now turns his attention to Ziggler. Dolph catches RyGuy with a boot and all three men are out. Ouchies all over. Sheamus finally enters and starts dismantling everyone, Dolph goes through another pod. Brogue kick to Marc Henry annnnnnd goodnight, sir, thanks for filling in. Admirable work, for the most part. King Lawler with a great line, "asked Sheamus where he got his haircut so I didn't go there by mistake." Classic KIng. Finishers all over, but Ziggler is hit with the brogue and the wear and tear of being the first man in finally catches up, Sheamus pins him. Ryback has to win now, right? Otherwise we have two EC matches where the last man in wins, and that's horse shit story telling to have the same exact ending. Basically just a singles title match at this point. Ryback asserts his dominance and Sheamus plays possum. Ryback is crushed onto the steel surrounding the ring, but somehow kicks out. Not looking good for the secret-loving, big guy. Sheamus, however, falters and leaves the door open for Ryback to hit Shell Shock and pin the goofy celt. Ryback wins his first singles title, and you gotta feel good for the guy, they have been buiding this feel-good moment for a while. Daniel Bryan asks the crowd is the big guy deserves the title, obvious answer, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Nice button for a high quality match.
Everyone catch your breath. Have a piss. Get a beer. Main event is here.
Dean Ambrose promo package about getting screwed by Rollins, reminding us of the past year, as if anyone watching a limited Pay Per View doesn't know the score. "Mommy and Daddy (HHH and Steph) can't save you" I think he says that at least five or six times. I'm a big Ambrose guy, but this package didn't help him at all. He's not a whiner, and I get that betrayal by Rollins is the main story, but this all felt wrong. Cue Rollins, whose music shreds and gets me hype every time, and he rolls in with the Authority - the perfect heel, when all of a sudden - IT'S THE LUNATIC FRINGE! DEAN AMBROSE! Seth is in his Tron suit with yellow accents, Ambrose in his typical jeans and T, such a man of the people. Such conflicting styles, exactly what you want in a title match. First part of this match is for the announce table, they are setting the stakes for us, "What if Ambrose is the champ?! He's a lunatic, it would be madness! He can't win!" Ambrose has ring control, but nothing overly dominant. Rollins fights back, and I don't think its mentioned enough, but when Rollins gets fired up he is a freight train, and will pile on a flury of offense on anyone. #ragemode Some J&J interference gets Rollins more momentum and predictable boos from the crowd. "Justin Beiber" chants rain down on SR from the Corpus Christi fans. The Lunatic Fringe tries to build some offense, but the champ keeps him off balance. The King and JBL start comparing Deano to Stone Cold Steve Austin, an obvious segway to plug his interview with Paul Heyman on the WWENetwork, but you can't be mad at some carpetbagged marketing. "You sold out" chants begin, which always cracks me up. Is the point to not make money? This is the WWE, they ALL sold out. You want true "for the love of it" wrestlers then go watch underground matches in high school gymnasiums. DA gets a near fall leading to J&J pulling SR out of the ring, giving the lunatic a chance to fly through the ropes and take them all out. "This is awesome" chant now, and I agree, good match thus far. Our combatants simultaneously fall outside the ring, which is bad news for Deano with the numbers not in his favor. Rollins power bombs DA into the wall outside the ring, and looks to be dead, but kicks out after Rollins rolls him into the ring. He's insane! He'll take all the punishment and enjoy it! Rollins talks shit to a nearly incapacitated Ambrose, and it's fantastic. Utter vitriol. We feel resentment building and, sure enough, Ambrose finds a miracle tornado DDT to almost pin the champ. He's now cleared the cobwebs and goes to work on the poster-boy. Rollins really sells a clothesline from the lunatic and shocks everyone with a kick-out at 2. J&J distract again, but Ambrose won't have it this time. He clears them out, then climbs to the top rope looking to take out Rollins, but hits the authority instead! Once he focuses back on Rollins the clever champ uses the ref as a SHEILD (!) the official is out cold, Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds, but no one is there to count! In flies an alternate ref and three counts the champ!!! THE LUNATIC FRINGE IS THE NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! No way the authority recognizes this alternate ref though, right?! Ring announcer confirms Dean Ambrose has won, but by DQ, and therefore Seth Rollins is STILL champ! The Lunatic is irate! He's been screwed, and now is also outnumbered! The Authority beat Deano until! We hear Roman Reigns into music! Where is he?! Rollins runs up the ramp, and runs right into A SUPERMAN PUNCH! Reigns flies into the ring and spears the fuck out of Kane. Ambrose finds the Championship Belt and decides he's taking it with him. He and Reigns exit through the crowd with the belt. Rollins bemoans ringside, inconsolable. LOVE IT. Everyone wins. RAW tomorrow will be a treasure hunt for where a psychopath would keep the belt!
Thus ends quite the thrilling PPV. Madness and unpredictablity throughout. I am thoroughly pleased with this as a whole. Way to go Deano. Awesome sells Seth. Roman, keep looking great. See you guys on RAW tomorrow.